One Year

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It's been one year since I started this blog, and I'm amazed at how fast the time has gone! I'm so happy that I stepped out and took the risk of opening myself up. I think it's pretty amazing that this blog coincided with one of the most life-changing years of my life, and I'm so thankful that I was able to document some of the ups and downs and life-altering lessons I've learned along the way.

God is wild, and I'd be crazy to think the road he's led me down is anything else but to be more like him. Because of that, this has been one wild year. He has proven himself over and over this year to be true and to be beautiful.

I started this blog to document my life, knowing that I was in a liminal stage; somewhere between where I was and where I'm going. I still don't have a clear view of my future, but this year has reminded me (countless times) that it is not for me to know. Instead, I need to focus on each moment and be proud of where I am. I can't compare myself to others or what plan society would have me on; I'm on a path all my own, designed specifically for me.

I started out this year in the lowest pit of my life. Thankfully, God gave me footing and showed me that everything that was overtaking me was indeed, the most beautiful things about me. I now stand on those situations and circumstances with pride, knowing that God was with me each step of the way and he lovingly orchestrated each moment to give me hope and a future.

I learned to trust God in everything, knowing that he will not withhold anything that I need. When I prayed for understanding, he gave me wisdom. When I begged for mercy, he showered me with grace and peace. When I longed for unity, he provided a friendship unlike anything else I've ever experienced. When I asked for direction, he reminded me of who I am and why I am. And above all, he has given me the privilege of knowing how unrelenting his love is.

I don't think one thing has gone the way I planned this year. Despite how frustrating it is to see everything turned upside down and every which way but the way I wanted, I would not trade this year for anything. I'm so thankful that God sees the bigger picture and he doesn't bend to my every desire. Instead, he lovingly instructs me on a path that is terrifying and uncomfortable, knowing that it will be so much sweeter than anything my silly little imagination could doll up.

Though there is still so much pain and uncertainty around me, I am certain of one thing: God is love. I don't need to know how or when things will work out. I need to have peace in knowing that I am on the wildest adventure of my life with a God who, somehow, is wild about me and set on turning me into something he can use.

I can't even imagine what this next year will hold, but I hope to share it with you along the way!