Beautiful Things

Life has been much more time-consuming than I had anticipated. This season has definitely stretched me mentally, physically, and spiritually. I wish I had more time to update this blog on a regular basis, but it, among other things, has fallen by the wayside.

Fortunately, I do have a moment right now to give a little update on a few things going on around here that I am just so excited about! Like this:

Jakub and I made the coffee table of my dreams! It wasn't difficult at all, which is good for newbies like us, but it was so much fun to go through the whole process together. Plus, I think it makes our living room look so much fancier than our last "plain jane" coffee table.

We've been redecorating our house here and there and lately we've stumbled upon some great little treasures!

We found the owl money bank, butterfly pictures, and antique chinese bowl at the flea market this weekend.

And these little finds, plus a few others, were discovered this morning at an estate sale. A fancy box, old diana camera, camera filters in every imaginable color, and three fancy head scarves came home with us. We also brought home an old polaroid camera and something else that I can't quite describe--I can't figure out what it is!

I've had so much fun with Jakub, creating and scavenging for things that will make our home more "us". I especially love that my husband is the one to find the estate sales or garage sales; I don't feel like I'm having to drag him to do anything he's not interested in. I sure am blessed with this boy! He'd rather go thrifting than watch a football game--God knew what he was doing with this one! It feels so nice to have such a good fit with the man that I married, I wouldn't trade it for anything.

With everything that is going on and vying for my attention, I'm so glad that I have him by my side each day. I can't make any promises, but hopefully I'll be able to post a little more regularly. There's so much going on that I'd like to talk about. Or maybe this is a time where I need to just keep quiet and enjoy life for all that it is. I guess we'll see. Until next time, grace and peace!

The Encounter pt. 6: Never Meant To Crawl

photo via

Remember in a previous post when I said that any time I am about to go through something big--whether it's scary or exciting--and I need a little reminder that God is with me, He always works a butterfly into the equation? Well you wouldn't think the encounter weekend would be any different would you?!

I'd be lying if I didn't say it took me by complete surprise! Again, I knew nothing about what was planned for this weekend so how could I even anticipate this. [In fact, I just learned the other day that the encounter I went to was planned a year in advance. If that doesn't show how wonderfully God works things together, then I don't know what does! Every circumstance was lovingly orchestrated to work together to show His magnitude. Every speaker, every message, every song all worked to change me in the exact way I needed to be changed. Every hurt, every pain, in the last year alone, directly correlated with this event.]

This beautiful woman named Samara spoke Saturday morning on butterflies. She told the life story of a butterfly: how it starts as a caterpillar, then goes through the chrysalis stage, and finally becomes a butterfly.
While they were caterpillars, they crawled around in the dirt. But they didn't stay there, they were intended to fly. Between the stages of crawling and flying, they had to go through a stage that shed their skin. It wasn't a one-time thing, they shed layers several times to get where they needed to be to break out. When they did come out, they had to stand on the shell of the chrysalis for a few days because their wings were still weak; they needed to become strong before they could take flight.

She said many scientific terms and such, like the fact that caterpillars and butterflies have the same DNA. You'd think that two seemingly different insects would house a different set of DNA, but they don't. They go through a complete process of change, but deep down they are still the same thing. Some could take this as, the butterfly never fully departing from its caterpillar stage. I take it as, the caterpillar was always destined for something more, something greater.

I think you can see how she related this to us. We spend our lives crawling around in the "dirt" of life, but we were made for something more. In order to get to that stage, we have to go through situations that continually shed who we used to be. When we break free from what would hold us down, that becomes the very thing upon which we stand, upon which we get our strength!

She gave the most  beautiful illustration of the life of a butterfly that I'd ever heard. It was the same process that was going on within me that weekend. It was the chrysalis where I was able to shed all my past hurts and hang ups. But when I broke out, all that pain didn't control me anymore. In fact, I could stand upon it and now all I get from those memories are strength. God is good! He's working all this issues of your life into something beautiful and something that will give you strength!

She ended her message with a poem she wrote for that particular weekend:

A chrysalis is a strange thing. It sometimes looks so rough on the outside, while on the inside something amazing is being formed. [I would like to thank you ladies for joining me in this chrysalis.]

Here in this cocoon I am changed. The things that seemed so important have been rearranged.

I don't know what the patterns on my wings will be like when I emerge, but that's ok, wings mean I can fly instead of inching my way through life in the dirt.

Wings mean that when God breathes I can move.
Wings mean freedom and with that thought, my pain is soothed.
My wings won't just be for showing, my wings will be for going.
When I emerge from here, colors dazzling, patterns amazing, how will I feel?
I think I'll feel like flying and perhaps never coming back to here.

My life will write a letter read and seen by all.
My wings don't mean I'm perfect, they don't mean I'll never fall.
My wings simply mean that I was never meant to crawl.

My wings mean that the ending is better than the beginning.
My wings mean that all the hurt did not have the effect intended.
My wings mean that I have a new perspective.

My wings mean I can follow His direction.
My wings mean I am His and he is my protection.

A Sign of Hope

 photo via

I have a deep affection for butterflies. But don't worry, it's not because of the typical reasons: being a girl; that everyone else likes them; or how they look tattooed on a lower back.

No, my love is deeper and cheesier than that.

It all started when my mom heard a Martina McBride song called "She's A Butterfly". I must have been fourteen or fifteen. The lyrics made her think of me (who knew a country song was so relatable? ha) and so started her little nickname for me ("my little butterfly"). It was definitely a source of connection for us. I have to admit, at first I thought it was a little too cheesy for my tastes, that was during the height of the butterfly tramp stamp so you can understand....

However, my feelings toward this cheesy insect began to change when it kept showing up in instances where I was entering into the unknown.

I was in the hospital for pneumonia and two abscesses in my right lung. It was very serious and as a last result, I had to get surgery. I was terrified. They wheeled me down and while I was waiting to go to the operating room, with my parents beside me, I looked up and there was a large group of paper butterflies hanging above me. It honestly felt like God was saying, "don't be scared, I'm here and I'm watching over you and your family." I mean really, out of all the things that could be hanging on the ceiling, butterflies?! And I looked up right before I was wheeled away. I could've missed them...but I didn't. I was overwhelmed with peace and since that moment, butterflies have been popping up in the sneakiest ways with that little reminder in the times I need it most. It's not always during times of fear and literal "life and death" though.

On our wedding day, I was going to carry one of my great grandmother's handkerchiefs. We were so busy that day that I completely forgot until it was my time to walk down the aisle. When I reached the podium, I saw that my mom had placed it there for me and I was so relieved. Would you believe that that handkerchief had butterflies on it, something which I hadn't noticed before.

There have really been so many moments like this, that I feel that it's more than just a coincidence. It's like a short little love letter that lets me know I'm not out of God's sight and I just need to set my mind at ease because it will all work out the way it's supposed to.

I was reminded of this today. I was on my way to see a counselor for the first time and I kept second guessing and talking myself out of it, asking all the "what ifs" in the world. Would this counselor care? Would she get me? Is this really what I should be doing? What if this is a huge mistake and I don't get anything out of it except for an expensive bill? Where do I even start? I was asking myself these questions and many more in the waiting room and all the way up to her office, when she opened the door and right beside my chair was a beautiful white butterfly. I'm not making this up people! It always works its way into my circumstances in the craziest ways to get my mind back to where it should be. It whispers words of encouragement and peace into my whole being. I am loved. And this will work out! And would you believe, the counselor was everything I could have asked for! She is just what I need in this moment and I have complete faith that this is exactly what God has been working to get me to, especially in the last several months.

So if you're reading this ma, here's a walk down memory lane: