Let's Get Lovey Dovey

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If I am someone who feels God's love regularly, and still craves it more than anything, how much more does someone who doesn't get a taste of it. If I drink water every day, I'll still get thirsty and the water will refresh me, but how much more satisfying is it for someone who has been searching for water but not had a drink in several days?! How much more do they long for the touch of water upon their dry lips.

I watched a youtube video of the magician, Penn, who is a self-proclaimed atheist. He talked about how he had this experience with a Christian coming up to him after his show to give him a Bible and how genuine the Christian was. He said that he didn't respect people that didn't proselytize. Even though most atheists don't want people to proselytize he said, "If you believe that there's a heaven and hell, and people could be going to hell or not getting eternal life or whatever, and you think that it's not really worth telling them this because it would make it socially awkward...how much do you have to hate somebody to not proselytize? How much do you have to hate somebody to believe that everlasting life is possible, and not tell them that?"

This thought has been with me ever since and has affected my entire being. Yet, I realized something last night. I was at church, praying to feel God's love, grace, peace, and joy. Then it hit me: people around me need to feel his love too. People that are certain God doesn't love them, doesn't give grace to them, doesn't give rest to them, and doesn't bring joy in their lives... they need to feel it too; they need to know, yes, they are unworthy, but God doesn't do things on the basis of our actions. His love is unconditional, truly.

I had been saying that I love my sister unconditionally, and I really believed it. If she keeps pushing us away and all I want is to be close with her, then I must love her unconditionally, no matter what she does. But really, I was loving her selfishly. I was loving her for my benefit. I was loving her so I could get what I wanted.

"He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous"
        --Matthew 5:44-45

God loves me in an insanely beautiful way and I am supposed to mirror that to others so that it's not my love, but God's pouring out into the world. My love is jaded; His is pure. God gives out his love evenly and without thinking twice. He does it simply because he is good and altogether lovely. As a Christian, I am called to love like that, which is clearly impossible for me to do. That is why it is better to act as a mirror, so that it is God's love being shown and nothing of me but the willingness to shine for his glory.

I have had to prepare myself for the reality of my sister dying if she stayed in a deadly lifestyle. Last night, I realized, I have been certain that she would die, yet I never showed her Christ's love. She has never felt the kind of love that Jesus offers come through me. How could I be so selfish in a time when I have been so certain of destruction? My love should not be poured out only if she does things I agree with. I mean, really, how often does God agree with the things I do? Probably slim to none, and he still loves me with a jealous love.

Several years ago, I read in the book, The Relentless Tenderness of Jesus, a saying that has captured my heart: "L'amour de Dieu est folie--the love of God is foolishness. And Jesus says it is a foolishness that is meant to call forth joy." God's love is crazy! Loving like this is so unnatural and scary, but when it's experienced, there is nothing so freeing! I am supposed to love recklessly, and without ceasing. I don't need to base my love for others off of what they can bring to the table; God satisfies me and gives me everything I need. Everything I need is in him, so I should be foolish with my love.

I don't want to hold my love hostage anymore!

p.s. Here's a few more excerpts from the book that I found highlighted when looking for this (read them, they're mmm mmmm good):

• The Tremendous Lover, in the words of Francis Thompson, has pursued us relentlessly and declared Himself without reservation. "As the Father has loved me, so I have loved you. Live on in My love."
• What does this mean for our own maturing into the fullness of Christ? In 2 Corinthians 5:17, Paul says, " If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!" For Paul, a new creation meant a total renovation of the inner self, a change of mind and heart. It meant far more than the passive union achieved in water baptism. To be "in Christ, " he told the Philippians, means to have in you the mind of Christ Jesus, to think as Christ thought, to have the ideals Christ had, to throb with the desires that filled Christ's heart, to replace all your natural actions to persons, events and circumstances with the response of Jesus Christ. In a word, a christocentric life means to live in the heart of Jesus, to share His tastes and aversions, to have the same interests, affections and attitudes, to be motivated in everything by His loving compassion. It means making the habitual thought patterns of Jesus Christ so completely your own that truly "I no longer live, but Christ lives in me."
• This was the triumph of the Spirit in a disciple named Francis from the village of Assisi. Romano Guardini once said that "Francis allowed Jesus Christ to become so transparent in his personality that his contemporaries called him 'the Christ of Umbrai'" Why are the personalities of so many pious and proper Christians so opaque? Why do we seldom hear what the old lawyer said of John Vianner: "An extraordinary thing happened to me today: I saw Christ in a man!" Why doesn't the radiant loveliness of the Lord stream from our personalities? In the definition of Noah Webster, we aren't we "diaphanous or easily seen through"? Why aren't we windows into Jesus, working, laughing, crying, playing, loving? Why aren't we transparent disciples?

p.p.s. I apologize if this is a jumbled mess of thoughts; I've had epiphany after epiphany and my little ol' fingers can only type so fast and I'm too excited to sit and organize these thoughts. I really appreciate each of you reading this honkin' post!