Wanna Feel Good About Yourself?

Go running.

Not for the typical reasons you might assume I'm talking about: physical exercise lifts your mood and gives you added energy, being out in the sun makes you happier, doing something that hard makes you feel accomplished. Those reasons do help to feel good about yourself but to me, at least, those feelings are delayed gratification. They come after the pain and torment you put yourself through.

What I'm talking about has instant power: interacting with people.

Being a housewife and not interacting with many people on a daily basis, this is big for me. So here's how it works:

It has been my experience that as you're coming up to someone on the path, everyone's first impulse is to look at the ground or anywhere but the vicinity of the oncoming pedestrian. But I've found that if you look at that person long enough***, they'll start to feel you looking at them so they'll look back. Then you can smile and say "good morning" or whatever you please, and they'll do the same in return. At the very least, they'll give you a half-assed smile or wave. It may be a contrived way of getting attention, but it works! It makes you feel great. Then you'll get a big grin on your face, even in the midst of running, and people will want to say hi to you because they'll want what you're having. Plus, it gives you something to take your mind off of what you're putting your body through. How can I get this person to smile at me? Or better yet, I'm gonna make this person feel loved and encouraged to keep going, so look at me! Look at me!

Is this just me? I swear I'm not weird or creepy. I've always been shy. I don't make the "first move" toward a conversation simply because I'm afraid the person won't want to talk to me. (I was thinking about this during my run and I traced it all the way back to my childhood...If you can't tell, I'll do anything to not think about running.) It goes back to my fear of rejection. I realized that I've been hiding behind the idea that I'm shy and that's just the way I am.

But it's really not that I'm shy. I love talking to people. I love learning about people and being inspired by them. I'm just afraid people won't feel the same about me. But now that I've come to that realization (about an hour ago) I'm not letting that hold me down anymore.

If somebody doesn't fall into your gazing trap, it's not necessarily because they're rejecting you and they're just a cold-hearted person with no soul, it could be that they're just as afraid as you were. Either that, or they could be focused on what you should've been focused on in the first place: running.

*** I should note that you should not look at them to the point of them feeling weird or self-conscious because when they look at you, they probably won't be smiling. Nor should you look straight at them from the moment they come into your line of view. Look at them maybe when they get in the 15-20 ft range. Just enough to where they feel welcome and a little special. Your goal shouldn't be to get a restraining order.