Can You Feel It?

I'm alive. I'm alive. I'm alive.
I'm a living, breathing, feeling, and fully functioning girl. This is my starting point for today, and I haven't gotten much further than that.

It boggles me how I can be feeling like this. It's tricky how depression works. I've had some pretty special times the past few days with my husband, my God, my friends & family, and myself. My brain is reminding me of all that I have to be thankful for and all the beauty around me, but I just can't get out of this, not today. Not yet, at least. I'm not sad or anything, but there's a feeling of...well I don't know if it can be put into words. I guess it's like a barrier that won't allow my emotions to go higher than a certain point. Or maybe it's more like I can go through the day but there's a constant negative pressure that I feel in my body, keeping me from being happy or productive. I don't know if that makes sense outside of my head.

Even though I wish I weren't feeling this way and it's a miserable thing to go through, it reminds me that, at least I'm alive. At least I have the chance to feel something.

 photo via

Maybe you're going through something like this too right now. Or maybe you're not. In that case, excuse this post, it's the only thing I could get out today.